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Sex After Sixty: Discussing Sex With Your Doctor

Summary & Participants

In many people's eyes, advanced age and sexual intimacy go together like milk and orange juice. But sexuality can be an important part of any loving relationship, no matter how old you are. Join our panel of experts as they discuss popular misconceptions about elder sexuality, as well as why -- and how -- they should change.

Medically Reviewed On: July 21, 2009

Webcast Transcript

MARK POCHAPIN, MD: Hi, welcome to our webcast. I'm Dr. Mark Pochapin, and we're going to discuss some of the issues that people have when they get older. But we're not talking about arthritis or chronic lung disease. We're talking about having sex, that is, sex in the elderly. It's really something that doesn't get much attention, but needs to be addressed, because there are new drugs now that are available, and there are things both physiologic and psychosocial, that need to be addressed with people as they get older and start engaging again in sex.

Today I have with us some expert panelists. Sitting to my left is Dr. David Kaufman. He's an assistant professor of clinical urology at Columbia University. Welcome, David. Sitting next to David is Dr. Patricia Bloom. She's Chief of Geriatric Medicine at St. Luke's/Roosevelt Hospital in New York City, with us here today. Thank you, Pat. Sitting next to Pat is Dr. Dagmar O'Connor, who is a psychologist, a sex therapist, and the first woman sex therapist to be trained by Masters and Johnson in New York City. Welcome. Appreciate you all with us.

MARK POCHAPIN, MD: There seems to be more of a focus on older people as a group, because we now have geriatric medicine and the population is aging and remaining healthy in aging. So this idea of sexual activity and sexual function has also become more of a situation to deal with. But I think a lot of physicians also, or I should say health care providers, feel uncomfortable addressing the topic of sex when an older man or woman is sitting with them. Is there a way for them to get an education, or what can be done from the education side of the physician or the health care provider?

DAVID KAUFMAN, MD: It's definitely a problem, there's no question about that. We're all teachers, and work with residents, and one of our responsibilities is to really empower the doctors to ask the right questions and to be comfortable with dealing with sexuality. I think that it's become less of an issue now, because of all the media attention. Patients are coming at us, asking for advice and help. So that's made it easier for the physicians.

PATRICIA BLOOM, MD: I think information like this is empowering older people, so that if they don't have a doctor who will ask them and address the issues, they can say "I'm having this problem. Let's talk a look at it and see what we can do about it."

DAGMAR O'CONNOR, PhD: It's also important to know that we as professionals give permission. And sometimes there's something you can say in an interview about sexuality and how common it is, or something that gives this person permission to talk about it, and to hook up with it. I often tell people when I do education: Don't ask "How's your sex life?" But ask, "Oh, you have discomfort in this? How does that interfere with your orgasms?" So you tie it in, and the don't just get away from it.

I just had a couple who flew in from Seattle for one of my workshops. I do couples workshops. They were in their late seventies, and they were motivated to go and work on their sex life. There are couples who are very open to do that.

MARK POCHAPIN, MD: I guess a good word of advice would be, if your doctor doesn't bring it up and it's on your mind, you should be the one to take responsibility to empower yourself to discuss this. Because this is an important topic, one in which something can be done about. And there is help out there, obviously. You people sitting here are experts in that area, and it's something that I'm sure will get more attention as more pharmaceuticals turn their attention to trying to help improve the sexual life of elderly people.

DAVID KAUFMAN, MD: There is a whole sexual pipeline of pharmaceuticals that will be coming out. Viagra was really just the first of the lot.

MARK POCHAPIN, MD: That's certainly a nice note to end on. I thank the three of you for being here with us, and of course our audience. We really learned quite a bit about the demystifying of sex in elderly people. And hopefully anybody there who considers themselves someone who may be too old to engage in sex should learn a little bit, and talk to their doctors, and hopefully see that there are things available to help you. It's something that's important, not only from a physical perspective, but also from an emotional perspective as well.

I'm Dr. Mark Pochapin, and thank you for joining us on this webcast.